This Is Thirty Six

13 February 2023 • Personal

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In years past, I would sleep in on February 13. Today, I’m up at 5:15am, a full hour and a half before my wife and V, which is odd (the being up before anyone else part, not the 5:15 part).

In years past, I’d take the day off of work and play video games all day. Today, my game time will start when V goes down for the night. Could be 6:30. Could be 8. Maybe I’ll be too tired to start anything and I’ll just fall asleep instead.

In years past, I’d get a phone call from my dad at 10:54am, so he could sing me an annoying rendition of “Happy birthday” at the time I was born. Today, I’m crossing my fingers he remembers, given everything that he’s had happen to him over the past 3ish months.

In years past, I’d have no plans for my day. Today, I’m calling an orthopedic surgeon for a consult on my messed up shoulder, and my wife and I are going to try and go for a walk.

In years past, I’d have no responsibilities to attend to. Today, my daughter is everything and all-encompassing, and I’ve spent the whole morning with her and my wife playing in the living room.

In years past, I’d be blogging from my laptop. Today, the only way I can write 350 words is on my phone in short spurts.

In years past, I’d be annoyed that it’s always snowy and cold on my birthday. Today, I’m loving that I get to bundle up and stay inside.

None of this is to complain (ok I’m a little pissed about my arm, so that one might be). All of this is just change. Not good change or bad change. Just change. For years, I’ve been so resistant to change. I’m stubborn and selfish, and I was nervous about having a child because of it. But now? I wouldn’t have it any other way.

This is February 13, 2023. This is the 44th day of the year. This is Monday. This is a day ending in “y”. This is another day where my family is healthy, my daughter is happy, and the house is warm.

This is thirty-six.